"Gaslight"

Gaslight opens with a teen aged Paula interrupting, to no avail other than to cause the perpetrator to flee, the murder of her Aunt, an accomplished opera singer inside their London town-home.
Paula is immediately fodder for the sociopath. She is shaken, afraid, wounded, damaged. The very best target there is for a predator.
She meets and falls in love with a beautifully beguiling pianist. He is strong and charming and seemingly knows her better than anyone else she has ever known. After a brief courtship, they marry on Lake Como in Italy. During their honeymoon, her new husband, Gregory mentions that he has always dreamed of moving to London and living in a darling-little-townhouse-on-the-square. Paula just happens to own one by way of bequeathment. 
Once in the townhouse, Gregory continues to work his magical charm on Paula, while at the same time driving her mad by making her believe she is weak and forgetful and crazy and isolating her from everyone. In the mean time, Paula comes across a letter written to her murdered aunt just two days prior to the homicide. Gregory completely loses his composure when she begins to read the letter aloud. He then quickly reverts back to his charming self and apologizes, blaming her for upsetting him, as she became irritated by the find causing Gregory to become concerned.
With the help of Scotland Yard's detective Cameron, one of her late aunt's greatest fans and her nosy neighbor, she holds fast to her sanity and confronts him. As he's tied to a chair in the very room in which he has been rummaging around in at night, tethered by the detective, Paula taunts him. It's beautiful revenge. A nice ending.
Ingrid Bergman won an Oscar for her portrayal of Paula. Charles Boyer is the perfect sociopath. Intense eyes, wonderfully talented, exceedingly beguiling.
Gregory's end to Paula's means was a cache of royal jewels that he had killed Paula's aunt for ten years earlier. 
The moment that Paula comes to realize she is married to a sociopath, she says, "That would mean nothing was real, from the beginning." That is the moment. 
For me it was a realization that I made six months in. I go back to my writing in those days. I posted research on sociopathy. I wrote all about him (of course) and his signs. I knew, and can you believe it, I am still dealing with the realization here, 20 months in. I jest. I used to say, "I'm trying to walk away. He won't let me go. He'll never let me go." The things he said and did to make me believe my statement are the very reasons I could not walk away. So, again, I went back. He called and I came running. A true exercise in the theory of Pavlov's dog. In fact, his words did, indeed, make me salivate. Only this time, the so called bond strengthened, and I was already involved with someone else. I swear, he could feel it, because it was the first weekend together for my new amore' and myself, and sure as the dog salivates when he hears the whistle, he emailed me after three months of silence. And, of course, I let him back in. This was about five months ago. We began to talk everyday, as I am trying to love this other man. My devotion to my sociopath got in the way in a very big way. I even stopped seeing my new guy. 
Before the sociopath diagnosis was finally empirical to me, I was feeling serious pangs of remorse and guilt over the way I treated my new guy. I emailed him with my apologies and I missed him, in the midst, of course of my sociopath's withdrawal stage. Right about that time, I emailed my sociopath, as well. I for some reason, well no reasoning I can think of, not allot of logic there, but I took control of our situation, and I did so on the sly. I said, "I had my tarot read the other day. My spiritual adviser said that I, indeed, am supposed to be here, as we always have been, but not in the way in which you wish. You are supposed to be focusing on your daughter. If being with me is distracting you from your destiny, well, I am the last person on earth to do so. I will always love you, but I do so, so exponentially, that I simply cannot have this passionate, sexual relationship with you." No response.  My new guy and I got together the other day. An amazing weekend. Early to bed. Drinking coffee and reading the news in bed, in the morning, the rain drops pelting the window. Passionate human contact. Normalcy. The rain was coming down relentlessly and we were starving, so I raided the kitchen and whipped up a lovely lunch. We snuggled in the dark afternoon, and my sweet man did something he often does that brings distance to the us of us. He mentioned the sociopath, as he knows him, too. He said, "What happened with XXX? Someone brought it to my attention that he was arrested recently." I, of course, knew nothing of this, but I tried very hard to contain my emotionality in that moment. "Arrested". It reminded me of something I had forgotten. My sociopath is a sociopath. I simply smiled and said, "Well, isn't that just like a sociopath?". He looked at me with that sometimes look of perplexity he gets, puzzled that what I told him over a year ago is true. Perplexity at my continued involvement with a man I have often referred to as a sociopath. I am certain he was seeking my reaction. I'm not sure how he took it but, as my guy dropped me at my house, he said, "Give my regards to XXX." And while I did respond, "I always talk about you to XXX.", and I don't know where those words came from, a defense mechanism, I suppose, nevertheless, I have not heard from my guy since.
I came inside and immediately looked up his alleged arrest record, and there it was. Arrested for theft, in another county than that which he lives, at 2:30 in the morning. I went back to our instant messages and certainly was able to correlate that day, precisely, with a day in which we were supposed to get together. I had messaged him the following day of the arrest and he simply said, "I'm sorry. I was unable to get back to you sooner. I had some personal issues arise, at work." My head has been spinning ever since. And I'm pretty damn sure I've lost my new guy, altogether. I mean, how could HE possible understand what just happened to me. I'm smart and intuitive. And duped. 
I saw many of the same characteristics in my sociopath that I saw in "Gaslight"s Gregory. I saw the same characteristics in myself that I saw in Paula.
I am still stunned...
Please share your stories with me. Together, we are stronger...
-Deannalynn Arzola